Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Explode?
My editing mistake of the week happened at work…as several of them have. This time I was editing a letter for a friend of mine and noticed two typo errors. One was “universities” instead of “University’s” and the other was “mother in law” instead of “mother-in-law.” He was very accepting of my critiques, a nice change seeing as last time I edited something I got told it didn’t matter if it was wrong, it sounded better the wrong way.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Headlines
As a reader, I can tell you just how important a headline is to a story. They are written in big, bold writing to grab the reader’s attention. When I pick up a newspaper or browse a news site on the Internet, skimming through the headlines is one of the first things I do. I am sure a good number of other readers do this same thing.
That really illustrates the importance of a good, solid headline. Not only is it written in big, bold writing to grab attention but it also needs to be well-written in order to spark interest in the reader. Why should I read this story? How is it relevant to me? What is the key point in this article? These are all questions that an editor should keep in mind when coming up with a headline. Not only that, but you should not give away the most important parts in the headline. Otherwise the casual reader may also choose not to read because they feel they already have the whole scoop.
And now my editing mistake for the week. Unfortunately it wasn’t found in a headline but here it is:
About 7:45 p.m. Saturday, police responded reports of shots being fired at the Far West Motel, 410 N. Main. Officers arrived to find that 52-year-old Gregory Nance had been fatally shot. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
Just leaving out the simple word “to” is very noticeable in this article.
Struggles of Headlines
Important Headlines
I was watching the Arnold Palmer Invitational today when I heard the worst commentator on TV, Johnny Miller, say something that made my ears bleed. He said, and I quote, “Irregardless of the results, Spencer Levin can walk away from this tournament beaming with confidence.”
Headlines: Proceed with caution
For this weeks editing mistake, I found an improper use of the past tense version of the word grow. I really hope that the editors did this on purpose. I remember this movie, Adventures in babysitting. She is all grown up, or all growed up!
Headlines can make or break a story
I am used to writing teases for broadcast news, which try to convince the viewers to stay through the commercial breaks. I find it a lot easier to time a tease than fit words into an exact amount of space on paper. One thing I've found that helps with teases and headlines is using a dictionary. It's good to mix up the words you use so people don't get bored. Plus, some words will fit better with the space you have than others.
An editing mistake I found this week was in a text from my friend. It said, "Oh my gosh i cant believe he wont leave me alone he needs to understand im done." There is no punctuation in this text. I know it's just a text, but I would have liked to see some apostrophes, periods, and capitalization. It would have made the message a lot easier to read.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Headlines
Even though I probably won't be writing headlines in my future career, I felt like this was a valuable skill to know. It tested my writing ability much more than I thought it would (or could!) and forced me to think outside the box. I've mentioned before that I'm kind of long-winded, so maybe this assignment was much harder for me than it was for anyone else, but I'm kind of glad it was hard for me because I feel like I was able to learn and grow a lot from it.
And now for the editing mistake. This is a sign that was found in an antique store. This is one of the most common editing mistakes I think. For some reason people just can't figure out the right 'your' to use!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
It’s a tough job, but a good headline knows how to do it!
I’ve actually never written a headline before so it was really fun to do the headline writing assignment. It was hard to try and pick a few of the most important words in the story to form a headline. A headline has to do so many things! It must catch the reader’s attention, tell enough about the story to be interesting, not tell too much to give it all away and ultimately get the reader to click the link or read the story. It’s a tough job, but a good headline knows how to do it!
The editing mishap I found this week was actually on a Daisy Maids van. I tried to take a picture but it turned the corner before I could…and it’s illegal to drive and text so I imagine it’s illegal to drive and take a picture…shhhh. So, anyway, the Daisy Maids slogan is “you're gonna love us, we're your daisy maids.” Yes, it’s obviously intentional that they put “gonna” instead of “going to” but it’s still a grammatical error. Also, the van advertisement was missing the all important comma!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Leads
This week’s grammar fail comes from a cameraman who was lucky to catch this vigilante grammar corrector.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Transitions
The topics we went over this week were, in my opinion, two of the more difficult ones when it comes to writing. Introducing your article with a great lead is extremely important. A well-written, attention grabbing lead that makes the reader want to continue on should be the goal of any writer. It is something that takes a lot of skill, however, I have found that transitioning well between paragraphs can be a difficult skill to master as well.
As with anything else, whether in writing or not, learning to transition well can come with practice. What a good transition does is makes the entire article flow together in one piece. Without it, the reader may become confused or worse-- lose interest in the article and stop reading.
Although learning to transition well can be challenging, there are a few simple techniques that can help you to make good transitions in your writing. One of these is to use pronouns. If a paragraph is talking about a specific noun then it provides a good transition to use pronouns of it in the following paragraphs. A common transition device to use would be transitional expressions. There are many options available as transitional expressions. For example, using additives such as also, in addition, and, again, etc. They link ideas together from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph.
Editing mistake this week: An advertisement in the Sunday Standard-Examiner said this-
Bring your prescription vial to us and
You will get the hometown service you've come to expect.
Good leads
It helped me to analyze the stories and find exactly what information would be the most important to the reader, whether it was the "who" "what" "when" "where" "why" or "so what." Then make sure that this information was part of the first and last information revealed in the lead to hook the reader and entice them to read on.
Even though I'm not going into journalism, I feel like this is the kind of stuff that any writer should learn. We should all know how to write long-winded sometimes, but we all should also know how to dive straight into the meat. Every piece of writing needs a hook, whether it be journalism, novel writing or even technical writing.
I wasn't able to find an editing mistake this week, but I'll be looking extra hard over spring break to find a couple for next time!
Leads
This weeks editing mistake is a common one. February is probably the most misspelled month. I can understand why it is commonly misspelled. When someone is pronouncing it fast, it does not sound like there is an r in February. There are many words in the English language that have letters in "weird" places, so it is best to double check spelling before you plaster it on the side of a wall.
Great Leads
I found it even more interesting when looking for ten examples of great leads. When I read the first 30 sentences of stories online, either I wanted to continue reading or not. The ones I wanted to read, I put in the list of ten we were to submit. (The articles caught my attention so much, this made for a time consuming assignment.) But now I can relate to all the badgering about good and bad leads.
Editing Mistake of the week.
While reading different articles and news stories and searching for great leads, I came upon this small mistake. But I found it really annoying because it was on the Washington Post website, a well-established newspaper. And one that should catch mistakes like these.
Leads
This week I found a sign that said, "Woman shoes 10% off." The woman should be women's since I'm assuming it is not 10 percent off for one woman.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Great Leads
The leads assignment also helped me understand what to look for in a lead. As I went through and read a few leads I was able to pick out which ones were well written and not so well written. Taking the opportunity to really analyze leads helped me understand what most readers really want out of the first paragraph of a story.
I couldn’t really take a picture of the editing mistake for the week, but I can certainly tell you all about it! As I’ve said before, I work as a secretary. Yesterday, one of the ladies I work with asked me to read over a page of information and tell her if it sounded all right. I read it and found SEVERAL mistakes. I corrected each and re-typed it for her. I presented the typo-free information to her, to which she replied, “No no no! I need these in question form!”
“OK…but this sentence here,” I pointed to the sentence, “does not lead in to questions…it leads to bulleted ideas. Questions don’t make sense with this sentence.”
Several minutes of futile effort later, I wrote the bullets in question form for her. Ugh. Though it didn’t make sense, I was tired of trying to show her the logical way to present the information only to be ignored and told I was wrong.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Strong Leads
Some tips I know now about writing leads are as follows. Avoid posing a question. Avoid starting with a quote. Grab the reader's attention. Start with the most interesting information. Try to keep the sentence under 30 words. Also, remember not to cram all the summary lead information into the sentence. I can honestly say that I wish I had learned more about leads a long time ago.
Now for the editing mistake I found this week. I found this article on The Signpost's website, and I shall leave the reporter nameless. I would like to add, though, that the reporter is DEFINITELY not me. But if it were, it would be one of the first articles I ever wrote. Here's the lead: Weber State University's Department of Performing Arts will present the Symphonic Band, directed by Dr. Thomas Root, on Tuesday, Nov. 10 in the Browning Center for Performing Arts' Austad Auditorium. The reporter got the summary lead correct, but considering this is an a&e story, it should have been more creative.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Appropriate and Sensitive Language
Based on the reading assignment this week, it wasn’t hard to notice how much insensitive language is used on television alone, even the news. I was watching the evening news yesterday and they mentioned how a black man and a Hispanic woman had abducted a man. I don’t know if this would be considered insensitive language. It did make me think of whether it was necessary for them to mention their race at that point. It was not like they were giving a description of the suspects to the public, otherwise they should have also mentioned their approximate heights, ages, what they were driving, etc. Some may have interpreted the reporter as implying that black and Hispanic people are more likely to engage in criminal behavior like that.
The other thing I noticed was how some of those on television seem to have different rules. Kenny already mentioned in his blog Tosh.0, which is a show on Comedy Central featuring comedian Daniel Tosh. I think if you watched a few full episodes of him you would easily find –isms in all of them and maybe all of the –isms that we have talked about this week. Of course, he is on Comedy Central, so he can probably get away with a lot more than a broadcast or newspaper journalist.
A simple editing mistake I found this week from the Standard-Examiner: “That one, is seems, has everyone voicing some sort of an opinion.” I caught this one very easily, not sure what the editor saw. The sentence is very awkward to read as it should have the word “it” in place of “is”.
Sexism and Ageism
One thing I learned this week is the concept of ageism. I always knew that yelling age specific insults at the elderly would be considered bad. But it never crossed my mind that saying, "She is still vigorous at 70." is ageist. I always thought it more of a compliment, but apparently it is a very subtle insult to the elderly.
Tosh.0: Is It Racist?
I was driving through Bunkie, La. and came across this sign hung on a restaurant door. Underneath it "CROSED ON MONDAY" was scribbled in sharpie on a piece of paper.
Avoid Being Racist
Also, avoid using the term non-whites. I hate when people use the word non in front of words, especially when they're trying to describe my personality. I'm a lot of things, so there is no need to say the things I am not. For example, don't call a brunette a non-blond. You can call them a brunette instead. I'm 20 years old, not a non-teen. It's equally important to be careful with how you use the word minority. In some parts of the United States, whites are the minority.
In conclusion, don't stereotype people and remember to describe people accurately. If you wouldn't say someone's race if they weren't of a certain ethnic group, leave it out.
The editing mistake I found this week was online. I was looking at the Seattle Times at the article named, "Judge Holds DSHS Trim of Benefits to Disabled Children and Their Families." After reading the "isms" chapter, I knew this was an able-bodiedism problem. A disability doesn’t mean someone is a disabled person, so the sentence should have said the children who have disabilities.
oh the isms!
Sexism
I subscribe to the Writer’s Digest magazine, and it’s interesting that in it, there’s a lot of sexist writing. Whenever they refer to “the writer” they almost always use the pronoun ‘she.’ It’s probably true that there are more female writers and aspiring writers than men, but to always use the pronoun ‘she’ would mean that they’re assuming all writers (or at least all subscribers) are female. To fix this problem they could either use ‘he or she’ or they could rewrite the sentence so that the pronoun doesn’t appear, or so that it’s plural and becomes ‘they.’
Heterosexism
I was listening to one of my friend’s songs the other day called ‘Emo Kid.’ Although the song isn’t really meant to be taken seriously, there’s a lot of insensitive language in it that I could see offending people. One line reads, “Our guys look like girls our girls look like dykes.” The term dyke is demeaning, and could be offensive to some people.
Racism
For this one, I was watching the show Castle when one of the characters said a comment that could be considered racist. They were watching a basketball game and one of the characters commented saying, “What do you know, I guess white boys can jump.” This could be considered racist because the term “white boy” sets them apart from others, and the comment implies that the speaker doesn’t believe that white people can jump and is surprised when one can.
Ageism
I saw an example of this in one of the other blogs that I read. In it the author was talking about her daughter and said that, “Even though she’s a teenager, Becca is always so mature.” Even though this statement isn’t demeaning to Becca, it implies that most teenagers aren’t mature, and that Becca is seen as an exception, when really there are lots of teenagers that are mature.
And here's a funny spelling error:
Sexism
Ok that is all I am going to post because I am just getting annoyed. As a PR major it is crucial to be aware of the sensitivity of your audience and the effect your words, actions and advertising could have on your company. As an editor is crucial to be able to point out these mistakes and prevent them from being put out in public.
Grammar mistake of the week...
Okay I cheated this week and just googled an image but it fits with what we learned about redundancy. See for yourself.
Style
This was in Wal-Mart. Enough said.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
-isms
Next is an example of a product called Glutamax. The slogan reads "I feel whiter and Gay each day." I have absolutely no idea what this means. This -ism obviously pertains to sexual orientation but it does not make any sense to me. It seems to promote homosexuality while demeaning heterosexuality. What does sexual orientation have to do with the product?
I found one that made me laugh because it is so ridiculous. This ad said " Are you asian and don't want to be," "theres HOPE for change," truth ministry.com. That is as racist as it gets in my book.
I found an example of ageism in a Snickers commercial. It's a bunch of middle aged guys playing football and someone states, "your playing like Betty White out there." Betty White suddenly gets tackled and everyone has a laugh out of it. This seems to state that getting old is a bad thing and old people cannot do anything productive. That is obviously not the case.
Able-bodiedism is a term that irritates me. Some people have physical or mental limitations but ideas or articles point it out, when it's unnecessary or inaccurate. There are reminders every day. A handicapped sign is a good example. I know people who rightfully own a handicap sign, but that has nothing to do with them being confined to a wheelchair. In my opinion, there should be a Physical limitation sign, not a wheelchair sign.
For this weeks editing mistake; This Chinese food sign had the worst grammar and sentence structure I have ever seen. This picture is self explanatory.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
-isms
I ran into a “generic he” issue this week. I was speaking with a friend of mine about a job I was hoping to get. He asked me who the owner of the business was, to which I responded I was unsure. He then said, “Make sure the business he runs is legitimate.” Later in the week I did some digging to find that the owner is, in fact, a woman. Most officials in the organization are women. The “generic he” is more of a habit than I realized before.
I have a few friends that still use the word “gay” to synonymously with “lame” or “crappy.” This is inappropriate and offensive but it’s also a habit. I’m sure they mean no serious disrespect by it but I do have to remind them that their language is offensive.
Last semester I took an intercultural communication class that really opened my eyes to the diversity around me. I never realized that “Latino”, “Hispanic” and “Mexican” all describe different areas. Previously I referred to anyone who appeared “Latino” as “Latino” or “Mexican.” This is wrong because clearly not every individual is actually from Mexico.
Until reading the chapter, I never realized how stereotyped older people are. As the book says, “Our language is not kind to older people.” Just the other day I had a nurse ask me how my mother is doing. I relayed her progress to which she responded, “She’s not that old is she?” Implying that such bad health only comes with age.
I definitely learned this week to write sensitively and kindly about other people. Always use the golden rule when writing about anyone.
As for the editing error of the week, I saw this written in my bathroom stall (of all places). First, it made me chuckle, second I noticed an error. The writer signed, "The Unicorns" but spoke in first person. So either it should start with "We" instead of "I" or it should be signed "A Unicorn." Also, Noah built an "ark" not an "arch." I hope this made you smile!